in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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