She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
