You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
