All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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