I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
