wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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