On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
