I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
