k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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