turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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