In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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