10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
