what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
