But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
