yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
