my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
A bitchslap is in order.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
