i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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