so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
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Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
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Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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