things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
