in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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