My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
