Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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