I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
