Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
