I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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