he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
