apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
