He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
