New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm like, not good at living.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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