you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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