Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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