Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
