bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
