Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The air was thick with penises
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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