i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
