i can't believe i had my finger in that
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize