Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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