your thong is hanging out like whoa
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
