My sheets look like a crime scene.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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