no. you can't hotbox the world.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
my poor anus
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.