so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait