the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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