just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
