apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
dude. I can hear the air.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
