Don't you send me to vm
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
