So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
