i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
