Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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