i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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