I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
