I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
