Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
