i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
