sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
whose ass print is on the piano?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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