You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
