If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
