Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
