I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
